You know, the Beatles song… Let it be? I watched “Across the Universe” this weekend… good. Hard to see, but still good. One would think that at my age (or lack thereof) the Beatles would have little or no influence in my life.  I am not a child of the 60’s or even really of the 70’s. But some songs carry a potency that never fades.

I am 17. A proud, round belly for all the world to see, declaring “Unwed teenage hussy here, complete with bun in the oven!” Seated front row, slightly to the right, I wait and watch as families pour into the auditorium. Eric is nervous too I see, he stands to the side and just slightly behind the curtain, scanning the people, looking for a friendly face on which to steady himself. I am this anchor for him, I am his stablilty, and yet I am his change also. It is his child that waits in me, and he prides himself on his impending fatherhood, neither of us know that “living” will break us soon. I smile at him; a big, beautiful, teeth shining smile aimed at his heart. He winks and turns to disappear back stage again.

The dull din has amplified.Voices raise and lower in waves and then “tap, tap, tap….. Good evening everybody and welcome to Palmer High Schools Spring Concert”. The crowd claps, then quiets and settles, coughing and rustling eventually the most pronounced sounds I hear. “Tonight, we have a wonderful program ….. ” our annoucner rambles off the virtues of a half dozen special music groups formed by young artists and then the concert begins.

I sit, as comfortably as one can at 6 months pregnant, in the fold down chairs of a hundred year old building. Listening, watching, looking for Eric. He sings in some numbers. I clap hard and fast at the conclusion of each, his only support at this event. His father doesn’t care to come to these concerts of his, (he would rather be drinking) and his mother lives too far away to drive in and see him perform often. I am left to fill this roll for him, to help him succeed, to be there for him, and I am only a child still myself.

The announcer begs our attention for one last time…. ” We have a special treat for you tonight. Our own Mr. C has come together with a select group of musically talented students and they will be performing a song that many in the audience are familiar with, I’m sure.” He trails off and I sit forward on the seat. Intently, I stare at the stage, lights dimming to a small puddle at the center, highlighting only Eric and two other people. This is the song I was waiting to hear…

The music of the piano starts and then his voice comes in:

“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, Speaking words of Wisdom….. Let it be……”

Eric knows where I am and his eyes never waver from the spot. I am amazed, mesmorized, terrorized… This boy, this 16 year old boy, will be the father of our child soon. He sings to me in front of his entire world, he feels no fear in front of this crowd. His voice carries only sweet sound. I am crying and then I stand up. I watch him, my own voice singing softly the words of this Beatles song……   the song that our son was conceived to.