I was madly in love… Stupid, blind and head-over-heels in love. I couldn’t eat, sleep or breathe without him on my mind. His eyes, his lips, his voice, his music, they all acted as a drug for me, keeping me high and oblivious to the world around me. This time last year I broke my wrist, participating in a sport that I became interested in because of him. And just as I knew that it was a sign of things to come, a real life braking of the self, I chose to go forward anyways, so deeply drawn that I didn’t want to help it or turn away.

Have any of you ever experienced something like that? Not simply an attraction… but a gravitational pull in one direction, each footstep solid and knowing, wanting nothing else more than that which you were barrelling towards? Why at 29 and married, why did I have to find myself in such a place for the first time in my life. The only thing I can compare it to is the birth of my son. A huge wall that crumbles to your feet at a slightest touch of your finger tip, revealing the ultimate truth for you to see… I shake my head even now with the force it still has over me. Is there such a thing as a soul mate, someone you are meant to be with? The instinct that drives you, tells you there is no better person, perfectly paired, that you should share your life with.

I can at least tell you that I am not with that person now, that I know. But then I ask myself ”What does it matter, the grass is no greener elsewhere, only more freshly planted, the roots still shallow.”

This time last year I knew where I would be this time, this year… I never doubted that I would still be in love.