Just thought I’d keep you posted.  I’ll let everyone know how it goes.

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Eric was sentenced to 30 days in jail. The judge gave him a 10 day stay because he has had two job interviews in the last week. If he can show proof of employment by August 22, then he will be allowed work release. Otherwise, he spends 30 days locked up starting August 23rd, 3 days before our sons 12th birthday.

From the beginning of all this, nearly 9 years ago now, I have never had anyone attend the hearings with me. I have never had an attorney, I have stood still and quiet, filling out the numerous court documents and filing them in the order and manner requested. I have played the game and given up several times, knowing that I would never get anywhere with this “man”. I left becuase I knew that, I left because I wanted our son to have a chance to be someone great and I left because I knew that I could best help Dryden by myself.

When I first filed the paperwork to claim custody, and child support, I did so standing in a court room alone. Eric had his mother, his girlfriend, and a couple buddies with him. As a matter of fact, his mother was asked to leave the courtroom because she wouldn’t stop bad mouthing me.

And later, when I found out that he had not even paid for daycare (If anyone is not “in the know” about the cost of daycare, I’ll give you a brief lesson – $125.00 per week for one child). Mind you, I was a single mom, working full time and going to school. It was hard, very hard, but I looked at my son at night and I knew that I would do everything I could anyways. I paid the daycare, and no… I never borrowed money from my parents. I didn’t have that priviledge, I rented from them with the added bonus of someone to help keep an eye on Dryden while I studied.  Again, I was alone when I asked the courts to garnish his wages. I did it quietly, head down, angry at myself for even asking or needing help. The wage garnishment was granted, and the Child Support office became involved.

And he paid, sometimes, but I never used the money unless there was an emergency. I knew I couldn’t count on the regularity of it. He would work somewhere for 2 months, then get fired or quit or the restuarant would close. I paid the bills myself and put what child support I did receive into an account for Dryden.  I refused to allow myself to depend on him for the basics that Dryden needed. Anything extra was just frosting. I always provided the cake.

Years of letters and threats from Child support to pay or else did no good, he would pay some or all and then stop for months on end. Many of you may ask, “Was he part of Dryden’s life?” Yes, he was the fun parent. He would keep Dryden for 1 night a week and they would go to dinner and the movies and get toys… And I was jealous because when he came back to me, I was boring… paying the bills with carefull planning, saying no to little things more than I care to admit. But I stayed quiet and let the child support attorneys do what they would on behalf of Dryden, ,ost of teh time they would not even talk to me. They were there to represent Dryden, not me, and they took that very seriously, often literally stopping me at introduction with the words, “I am not seeking information from you at this time so we have no need to speak…” I learned to sit at the back of the court room and just observe, mouth shut… an exceptional show of patience for someone like me.

Finally, in February of 2007, the Child Supprt Office moved to file a Contempt of Court Order against him… 7 years later… He was found in Contemot and his sentenceing was stayed for 1 year or 30 days of non-payment, whichever came first. If he paid for 1 year, the charges would be dropped and the contempt case closed. He paid for nearly 4 months straight, which was good for him… But he stopped again and was called back to court and warned that he had better pay or there would be a imposition of sentencing. So he paid again, and stopped again, and I sat, tears in my eye, choking back the voice that wanted to scream and curse at him for his utter lack of respect for our son. Oh… he thought he was being a great dad! Having fun with his son and being “the cool parent”… but he had no concept of raising a child, no idea of the very life sucking entity that needed you to survive. (Don’t take that last statement wrong. I LOVE my son, but he is a complete other human being without the ability to fully take care of himself. Yes, slowly but surely, he is growing and becoming more responsible. But it is an 18 year process AT THE VERY LEAST!)

And again, nothing since May of 2008 and I heard that he was once again to appear before the courts. I had sat alone and quiet long enough. I asked by best friend to come with me this time… After 8 times in court with this man, each time him surrounded by family and friends… and me alone. I read the statement that is a few posts below… And I didn’t cry or choke while I spoke. But I cried when the judge read the sentence… I kept thinking, “I’ve taken my son’s dad away from him. I’ve just sent my childs father to jail.”

Did I get what I want?

No. What I always wanted was a man who would love his son more than he loved himself.